A tale of toe rings

One day during the wedding of my niece after all the hustle and bustle, us cousins were relaxing with cups of coffee in hand. It had been a long time since all of us had gathered under a single roof. We were sharing interesting snippets and anecdotes...  Let me share one with you all...

It was evening, the time of the homing birds. We were so engrossed in our talk that we didn't even bother to look out at the beautiful sunset with its myriads of colour. 

We were like a flock of birds who were tweeting and fluttering around. We had so much to talk in so little time as we were set to disperse the next day. Each one was contributing to the conversation in their unique way... Some narrating incidents, some lounging around silently listening, but breaking it now and then with witty comments in their unique style that had the rest in splits... It was an enjoyable evening of easy camaraderie with no sense of the time passing by...that by itself was a rarity... A throwback at the halcyon days of our summer vacations at Grandpa's

                                             ~~~ oOo ~~~

This wedding was the first one of the generation next and all of us were unaccustomed to the role of being in-laws...  This was also the trendsetter for the looming weddings in the family this season... The new son-in-law had seen only the bride’s parents earlier but  never even in his dreams had thought that he would have to deal with multiple sets of in-laws. That had him slack-jawed but he very skillfully hid his consternation behind the consoling thought that his bride too had to deal with multiple set of in-laws from his side. The bride and the groom were being teased mercilessly and those two pleaded at first to spare them. Seeing that their plea fell on deaf ears, they too joined the rest having no other option before them. The conversation in time shifted towards the toe rings adorning the mehendi designed feet of the bride... When we couldn't find it on her feet we were told it needed to be re sized as it was too big a size... This set off a spate of narrations of their own experiences....

                                                 ~~~ oOo ~~~

Before I narrate on the experience of three ladies let me tell you the significance of toe rings….

 

Toe rings have been adorned for centuries in India and have always held a symbolic significance. A ritualistic adornment for married women, toe rings have also been an ethnic accessory for women of all age groups. They essentially signify the marital status of Hindu women in India, and are part of the ‘Solah Shringaar’, or the sixteen essential ornaments adorned by them. These rings have a distinct cultural significance for a woman.

Toe rings worn by women were traditionally never crafted in gold, as gold is considered symbolic of Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth. They are usually crafted out of silver both in traditional as well as chunky designs.  They adorn the second toes of our feet.

There is no proper documentation on when and why toe rings came into use but, the first time it is mentioned was in Ramayana that Shree Rama had made Sita Devi wear a pair of it.

According to the scientific reasoning, there are some health benefits of wearing them. The reflexology scripts mention about treating gynaecology problems by massaging the second toe. There is also a belief that  wearing toe rings on the second toes press on certain nerves pertaining to the reproductive system, which helps in keeping the system balance and healthy. These rings are believed to regularize the menstrual cycle, enhance conception and keep the uterus healthy by ensuring good blood circulation.

Furthermore, the metal silver is a good conductor and helps the body to absorb the polar energies of the earth, thus rejuvenating the internal system.

Who places it on the toes of the bride varies from place to place. According to our custom, it is the prerogative of the mother-in-law to adorn the toe ring on her toes when the bride enters the house...

                                                             ~~~ oOo ~~~

… Now continuing with the narration…

With time all eyes shifted from the bride's feet to her mother's.. It was adorning a pair of elaborate shiny ones... For the sake of convenience let me  call her Veena. When a few among us were ribbing her with the fact that she was one up on her daughter in the toe ring design... a gale of laughter  sprouted. ...To enlighten the rest she started to narrate the story behind it.. A day before while some customary rituals were being conducted ..she suddenly found one toe ring had a mind of its own and had taken a stroll... She couldn't get it back even though her friends had fine tooth combed for it at all the places she had been... Giving up the search and the hope of ever getting it back as it was time for the rituals she continued with  her designated work... Slowly the relatives from her husband's side seeing her ring less feet started to come up to her and whisper in her ear that the toe ring was missing... Wary after the number of times she had to explain she just kept quiet for some time ... But still this went on like a slow trickle... it was as though she was committing a crime by not wearing a toe ring with no chances of redemption... Her patience was getting tested and it started to get on her nerve like a slow dripping faucet... The people around her were giving her silent but odd looks... Finally she had it and Veena went near her friends and inspected their feet... Finding the one with elaborate work she asked her to lend it for the time being... She wore it and went back... The relatives were all smile thinking that she had a spare set and began giving her their nods of approval...  That's how she was in possession of it and was yet to return it... Shining in borrowed toe rings... The laughter that had taken a backseat during the narration was back in full force....

                                              ~~~ oOo ~~~ 

When the laughter subsided a bit the other Veena, spelt Viina asked... Did you know what happened with me? ... 

In her words… "My mother-in-law was all smiles when she saw me and brought the toe rings while I finished doing the puja at the entrance.  When she tried to push it into the toes it wouldn’t go in. Thinking that she was not in the right position she cleared all the paraphernalia surrounding me and tried it again… Even after all the huffing and puffing it was not possible.. As if to blow away the obstacle my father-in-law asked her to get a soft stem of hibiscus and went away to attend some other matter that sought his attention... Once the hibiscus stem was brought in, the rigmarole began... Though I was in tears  from the pain, it was tried... but in vain...  My mother-in-law understood my dilemma and asked me to say that it needed to be changed if ever my father-in-law asked which he promptly did later.... It turned out that the toe ring was really of smaller size... It did not fit  the measurement provided... On further probe it was found that the jeweller looking at my sister-in-law who had gone to buy it had said this size would fit... Since that day... I don’t fancy the toe rings and my own pair have been hibernating, cradled in the cushioned safe haven of my locker..." This set of another spate of laughter…

                                               ~~~ oOo ~~~

Hearing an unhindered laughter being belted out even after the rest has recovered from the spate, all eyes turned to yet another Veena  whom we shall call Vins... She came out with a thumper... She told us that her experience was quite unique by itself.... Two days after her Griha Pravesh (entering the house) as the bride, one of her friends who had visited her asked to show her the toe rings. It was then she realised she was not made to wear one...  Being a new bride, that day she kept quiet... Next morning when an opportunity arose... she asked her mother-in-law whether such a tradition was not there in their house...  The mother-in-law was silent for a moment and then told her to hurry up with their breakfast preparations which both were engaged in... By not getting a proper answer, she thought that it was not a ritual in the family and got on with the work at hand... She could see her mother-in-law quietly slip out of the kitchen... When Vins was setting the table she could hear her in-laws whisper... Being a new member of the family, she kept to herself as the life over there was very new to her... Soon she saw her mother-in-law getting ready while nodding at the instructions given by her father-in-law and his mother as she left the house... Within half an hour Vins saw her mother-in-law getting down from an auto and once inside the house she wanted  Vins to come over to the puja room (home temple) and had her seated in front of the family deity... Lighting the lamp, she put vermillion and turmeric on the forehead and cheeks of her daughter-in-law and asked her to stretch her feet... Unaware of what was happening, she did as told and lo! 

Her mother-in-law slipped the toe rings and was seen grinning sheepishly... She told Vins, that in the wedding hullabaloo, at first the buying of toe rings was put on back burner and later it just slipped out of  her mind. Only when she was asked did she remember...! 

Knowing Vins and her tendency to be absent minded, the laughter reached the crescendo in response to the silent realization what a perfect mother-in-law she has been gifted with...

                                                                                                      ~~~ oOo ~~~

This narration is dedicated to the three Veenas depicted in this narration and also to the three sweet ladies whose names I have borrowed lock stock and barrel without their knowledge...

                                                            ~~~ oOo ~~~